Sunday, June 13, 2010

FIRST DAY OF WORK! TOMORROW! EEEEEEE!

The day that I never thought would come is here- my first day of work as a MD!! Or least it will be here tomorrow. YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So many things are going through my mind. Despite all the years of education and experience behind me, I still have the same worries I had when I first started high school, college, and medical school (and probably kindergarten too): Will people like me? Will I be smart enough? What if I'm not ready? What if I'm the dumbest one there and everyone hates me?!

Most of the time when I think about starting work I am really very excited. Gosh how awesome- I'm going to my first choice residency program with my husband! And my program is just plain amazing: everyone is so welcoming and helpful and just plain awesome! And how cool- I get to do what I love doing everyday! Gosh and I'm going to be a doctor! Wow wow wow!

And then it's somewhere mid-wow that I realize it- shoot, this means I'm going to have all the responsibilities of a doctor. When something goes wrong with a patient, it means that I probably have made a mistake. When I'm in the operating room and a patient is hemorrhaging, I have to be the one to recognize the problem, stay calm, figure out how to fix it, know all the names of the surgical tools to help me fix it, and then fix things. OHMYGOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AM I READY FOR THIS?!!! How the heck do I do this?!!

I'm filled with a mixture of excitement, anxiety, enthusiasm, and fear. I know that life will never be the same again, but I'm not sure how I will change and what I will have to do in order to adapt. I know I'm going to have to work hard, harder than I've ever had to before. I know that I'm going to have more responsibility and less time than ever before. I also know that my husband will be just as busy if not more busy and we won't be able to help each other as much as we did in the past. I know that all these big changes are coming up fast and I'm not sure how well I will be able to adapt to these changes.

I'm going to try to do what I know I still do well- make goals and to-do lists- and hope that I have a spare moment every once in awhile to remind myself of the kind of physician and adult that I hope to be during (and despite?) my residency training.



Goals for myself during residency:
-Be friendly, smile tons, and be nice to EVERYONE, even if I'm post-call and/or stressed out.
-Try to read something in OBGYN literature every day. Goal: 30 mins daily.
-Find time for myself to do a small something only for myself everyday. I hope that this is running, but I recognize that after standing all day and staying awake all night, my legs might not feel like jogging.
-Ask for feedback frequently and don't take it personally when there is a lot to change
-Find time with my husband to go on dates
-Enjoy walking my dog every day that I'm able to
-Call home once a week
-Don't complain or let negative things take over
-Stay excited for my patients, work, and life


Ok that's enough for now! Now it's time for me to channel my nervous energy into tying surgical knots, remembering labor & delivery stuff, and finishing up errands before work tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nice post - Have fun in your residency! Residency is a wonderful time in life - hard but very rewarding. The learning curve is so steep that you are a different doctor every month.

One little piece of advice - skip reading 30 minutes of medical literature a day. Instead, read 30 minutes of a major textbook. Learn what is in Gabbe, Te Linde, Creasman, and Speroff (or their competing equivalents) and you will know more than 95% of practicing OB/GYNs.

Anonymous said...

>> When I'm in the operating room and a patient is hemorrhaging, I have to be the one to recognize the problem, stay calm, figure out how to fix it, know all the names of the surgical tools to help me fix it, and then fix things.

Nobody expects an intern to know how to operate. By the time you're in this position, you'll be ready to do it.

Natalia :) said...

Thanks for the advice! I really appreciate it! I read a chp in Williams last night and it felt great when I had a pt that I could apply it to today! I feel like I have the coolest job in the world! :)

Also, our residency program schedules monthly games (survivor, who wants to be a millionaire, etc) to quiz each other in a fun way for Green journal content. It's awesome! I'm glad that I will have to make time for some literature, practice bulletins, and prolog too!

Thanks for the awesome blog academicobgyn! Keep up the great posts!