Saturday, December 13, 2008

A gut feeling

On my surgery rotation, my energy and hard work was appreciated but I didn't quite feel like I fit in. When I asked my colleagues on general surgery what they thought I would be "when I grow up," I had several people tell me that I would undoubtedly love Obsterics and gynecology (OBGYN). I have always appreciated forming strong doctor-patient interactions in clinic, something that I really missed during rushed general surgery clinics where patients became a nuisance and their questions just slowed us down. I didn't just want more patient interaction, I wanted more meaningful interaction with my patients. That said, my love for surgery taught me that dedicating my life to clinic like a family practitioner wouldn't be enough for me. My colleagues noticed in me that I wanted to pursue a career in which I had the best chance at being a real practicing surgeon- a physician who is able to perform a surgery and really take care of them afterwards. They saw in me a future OBGYN. I wasn't sure about the idea because I hadn't done my OBGYN rotation at the time, but I was very excited to start.

It didn't take long for me to realize that my colleagues were right. In fact, on my first day of OBGYN I had the revelation: this is what I want to do with the rest of my life. Almost instantaneously, everything fit. I loved working with women. I loved the challenges of pelvic anatomy. I loved that all of the procedures performed in the operating room had significant meaning that I would have to follow up with important discussions with the patient. For example, I had a hard time getting excited about reducing a hernia on general surgery. What was the point in spending time with the patient afterwards? Instead, in OBGYN my patients were having emergency C-sections to rescue their babies or exploratory laparotomies to remove a suspected cancer followed by hysterectomies. I loved the importance and meaning of everything I did in the OR. I loved that afterwards, I got to really talk with my patients and help them understand what happened in the OR and why.

I have really enjoyed all of my clinical rotations. I have a passion, however, for OBGYN. This field makes me feel more alive. I am excited to go to work everyday with this field. This field makes me feel like it's all worth it. This field makes work seem easy again. Oh my goodness- I think I'm going to be an OBGYN!!!!!!!!!! :)