Research block so far has been a nice break- working 8 to 4, having time to watch TV, call friends, work out, go on trips, no homework. Today I got a reality check- I received an email about scheduling my clerkships... and oh yeah they start next month. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
I decided to start reading about what to expect in the next 2.5 years of clerkships. I read about my responsibilities and how much my life was going to change. I read about long hours, realizing your flaws, and never knowing enough. I realized that I have no idea how to summarize a patient's life and current condition in 30 secs to 3 minutes, depending on my rotation. I'm terrified, to say the least.
What if it's too much? How will I learn this all? How will I find time for myself? Who will I be after surviving this?
Most of my friends are finishing up their first rotations on the wards. They survived. And now that I realize just how stressful their day to day lives have been the past four months, I feel they deserve a badge of honor- for replying to my silly emails sent from a slow day, for finding the time to call me when they haven't slept more than 4 hours/night for the past month, for finding how to balance their crazy new life with their old one, seemingly effortlessly. I'm impressed. I just hope I can do the same.
In the meantime, after these realizations, I now have some SERIOUS incentive to get back to normal study habits!
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